Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Since You Been Gone

...and now I have Kelly Clarkson stuck in my head....
Since my last post was in..... uhhh... much has changed! 

     I wrote a little bit about our wedding (or just posted the wedding trailer here) but really the amount of change in Derek and I's lives has been tremendous in the last two years!  Two moves, a house, a baby, and two new jobs!

     After we got married in February of 2013 we were living in Knightdale and soon moved to a different apartment complex in Knightdale (move 1).  During this time (April/May 2013) we found out that we were pregnant and were thrilled!  (And yes, I know we had not been married long but this was in fact a PLANNED pregnancy... I had a lot of people ask me if it was an accident) We were so excited and picked our next apartment with a baby in mind.  We were due in February of 2014.  Unfortunately at our 8 week appointment, our ultrasound showed no fetal heartbeat.  We repeated blood work over the next several days to confirm that my hormone levels were dropping.  In June 2013 I had a D & C at Rex Hospital.  It was one of the toughest parts of our lives.  We were both devastated.  I spent a lot of time blaming myself and trying to figure out what I did to cause this.  However, the support I found in family, friends and co-workers was tremendous.  I had no idea how many women that I knew had been through this heartbreak.  I found strength in the knowledge that we were not alone.  We also found an AMAZING doctor that we loved.  She was so supportive both during and after the procedure.  She let me cry at my follow up visit after seeing all of the pregnant mama's in the waiting room.  She rocks, I love her.  After the miscarriage, Derek and I both decided that we wanted/needed to wait a little bit before trying again to get pregnant. 

     Derek was still teaching and I was still working for my (now previous) employer.  Anyone who knew me knew that I was STRESSED OUT.  Not just normal stressed.  But like stressed to the point that my body was breaking down and I was mentally breaking down.  I wasn't sleeping, I had trouble eating, I was a nightmare to be around because I was always anxious, angry and frustrated.  I blamed my job for my miscarriage whether rational or not.  I couldn't imagine how a baby could survive in my body while I was so messed up from stress.  After a particularly bad evening that involved my mom and Derek laying in bed with me while I sobbed uncontrollably, It seemed that something had to change or I was going to break.  The next day I was sitting in a meeting and things were just going downhill fast.  I got up from the meeting, went to my office, packed up my stuff and left.  (it was not that simple and undramatic but I won't get into that). 
     Today I know that it was one of the best decisions I have made.  My life changed drastically.  Yes I was freaking out and worried.  I had no income, no way to pay the bills.  Derek and I were actually in plans to move back to my parents house until I could get another job.  Then I got a call from my current employer offering me a job that I had applied for a couple months back.  A REALLY great job with a REALLY great company.  I was ecstatic.  God really intervened and made things work.  We didn't have to move and so much burden was off of our shoulders!  My entire family (and quite a few people I don't even know that well) have commented on how completely different I am now.  I'm not a crazy psycho yelling and stressing and being mean.  I love love love my current job and am so happy.  Nights and weekends I am focusing on my family, not the events of the day or what was to come the next day at work.  Not constantly worried.  It has really been amazing and a true blessing for me. 

     Derek also got a break in the job department.  While he loved teaching, it was wearing on him.  Stress and lack of opportunity to make more money was difficult.  Through another teacher whose husband worked for a tech company, Derek found out about a job opportunity and was able to get an interview.  After a long interview process, the company called and told him that they really liked him but that they wanted him to learn a little bit more about certain computer/tech stuff and encouraged him to interview again the next hiring round.  Derek bought books and studied, he interviewed again several months later and got the job!  He is so much more relaxed and happy.  He has pride in his job and is making much better money and better benefits.  SCORE!  Two awesome jobs for us!

     Towards the end of 2013 we decided that we wanted to start trying again to have a baby.  We had to wait until January of 2014 because I had to have worked at my job for 60 days for my short term disability (which I would need in 9 months) to kick in.  The Friday before the super bowl of 2014 I took a pregnancy test.. POSITIVE.  Within an hour, my brother and mom knew (of course Derek was first) and we all hoped and hoped that this pregnancy would be healthy.  With baited breaths we attended our first prenatal appointment.  We were all nervous wrecks.  Our doctor usually does not do ultrasounds at the six week appointment but I made it happen by complaining of some mild cramping.  She searched the screen, bringing the baby into focus (well actually she looked more like a blob but whatever).  Finally she pointed and we saw the flicker of a tiny heartbeat that would forever change our worlds.  We were ECSTATIC!  We still didn't feel like we were out of the woods but with every appointment our confidence increased. 

     Meanwhile I told Derek that I wanted to find a house.  I wanted to bring our baby home to a home, not the crappy apartment that we were living in.  I wanted them to grow up in a house, that is theirs and for them to feel a sense of belonging.  Derek agreed and we started looking at homes online.  We both saw this one house... it was perfect and cute and just the right size.  We quickly found a realtor and saw this house the first day we went looking.  We loved it and put in an offer right away.  After a little back and forth our offer was accepted!  Again, we were so excited!  From the time we started looking to when our offer was accepted was only a few short weeks.  We moved into our home about three months later (move number 2) and have loved it ever since.  We found out that we were expecting a girl (!!!!!) and spent a lot of time decorating her nursery (with a lot of painting by Derek and Mom). 

     Cecelia was born at 37 weeks and 2 days on September 29, 2014.  We had no idea that we would end up with a September baby!  I will be posting her birth story here soon.  She is now FIVE months old ... unbelievable.  We celebrated our second anniversary last month.  I think we have had enough changes for ten years of marriage! 

     Ok so in a nutshell.... we are now caught up to present day!  Kind of?  I guess? 

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