Saturday, March 7, 2015

Cecelia's Birth Story Part Two

     After being sent home from the hospital on Friday the 26th, I spent Saturday half moping around and half trying to prepare myself for Monday.  I just knew that you would be coming on Monday, at least I was REALLY hoping.  I went with Mom to the nail salon and (thank goodness) got a manicure and pedicure.  I checked my hospital bag, I moped around some more.  I whined, I complained, I drove Derek crazy. It didn't help things that I hadn't been able to keep food down since being released from the hospital Friday evening.  So Saturday night was going on 48 hours of no food and very little water.

     Sunday morning I asked Derek if he thought I should call the doctor about not being able to eat.We decided to try to eat breakfast at Ihop and see how it went.  Well yet again I had a very difficult time eating.  I called the OB line and told them what was going on.  Dr. Groff was on call and told me that she didn't really think that there was anything that she could do but that If I wanted to, I could come into Labor and Delivery to be checked out.   I decided to go in to be checked out because I was losing my mind not being able to eat and being able to drink very little fluids for 36 hours.  Rex put us in the TINIEST hospital room as they did not have any triage beds available. For a couple of hours I was monitored and given fluids.  My blood pressure was still quite high.  Dr. Groff finally came in around 4:45pm.  She was not very concerned about my eating/drinking, but was concerned about my blood pressure numbers.  Based on the fact that Dr. Inge was going to see me on Monday morning to check my pressures and make a decision on inducing me at that point, Dr. Groff decided that she would go ahead and start induction.  Like. Now.

This necklace was given to my Mom by my Dad when she had me.  Mom showed up to the hospital wearing it and put it on me a few minutes after I had Cecelia.  TEARS!

     HOLY CRAP.   I was not expecting to be induced!  We didn't even pack our hospital bags in the car (stupid I know).  I felt a rush of complete fear and complete excitement that we were NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM WITHOUT A BABY!  Once the decision for induction was made, it felt like things started going quickly.  Nurses were coming in to finish the admission paperwork, and another came to start my induction with a foley bulb.  Basically they put a deflated bulb right inside my cervix and blew it up like a balloon.  They then taped the tube connected to the bulb to my leg to keep the downward pressure.  The idea is that the pressure from the foley bulb starts dilating your cervix.  Apparently from what the nurse said, it generally takes several hours for the bulb to do it's job and when you are dilated, the bulb just pops out.  Well after about 45 minutes I was getting very uncomfortable.  I told Derek and the nurse that maybe we should just forget this and go back home.  Haha yea right!  I told the nurse that I thought that I might need something for pain as it was only getting worse.  The nurse told me "it's a little early for you to need pain medicine".  Whatever nurse, that bulb popped out about 10 minutes later and I was dilated to 5cm.  5cm meant that I could get an epidural.. Yay! I thought.  Little did I know that the epidural nightmare was only beginning. 

     At this point Mom and Derek are both with me at the hospital and Joe is enroute (I designated him the birth photographer.. not to be starting taking pictures until AFTER the baby was out!).  The anesthesiologist came in all in a tizzy to start my epidural.  I can't lie, I was a bit nervous about it.  I was in pain at this point but not so much that it made me not nervous about the epidural.  As I am sitting on the side of the bed with Derek in front of me holding my hands, I start to notice something.  Over and over Derek starts reaching over and eating ice out of his cup.  I told him to stop it but when he did it again, I knew there was something .... off.  I looked up again and his face was gray and he had a very odd look in his eyes. 

"Are you ok??"

no answer

"Derek, are you ok?!"

     At this point the anesthesiologist (who has the needle in my back), has caught on that something is happening on the other side of the bed.  He starts yelling to Derek "Sir, Sir, are you ok? What's going on?".  He calls for more nurses to come into the room ASAP as Derek is clearly slowly losing consciousness.  The nurses get him over to the recliner chair and lift his feet up.  Me, still getting epidural, is not believing what is happening.  Is this a movie?  Stop, this doesn't really happen.  The doctor is yelling at Derek "Does your chest hurt? Do you feel sick?"  Finally my epidural is done and the anesthesiologist goes to Derek to check his vital signs.  He seems to be slowly improving and getting better.  After about 10 minutes Derek was back fully awake and aware of what was going on.  To this day, Derek says that he passed out because he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.  Poor guy.  I hadn't eaten in three days!

     Well that anesthesiologist apparently gave me a WHOPPING dose of medication before he left my room because I suddenly wasn't feeling to well myself.  My blood pressure started plummeting and somewhere around 68/30 I was going unconscious.  I could hear things going on but could not open my eyes or speak.  Mom was freaking out of course and suddenly there were a whole bunch of people flooding into the room.  Dr. Williams had come on shift and she was there along with a lot of nurses pushing medications to try to stabilize me.  It was absolutely terrifying.  I thought I might be dying (which I kind of was with my blood pressure that low).  Finally they gave me enough medicine that my blood pressure started coming back up and I started to make sense of my surroundings. The medicine made me vomit (which was great since I hadn't eaten in now 3 days).  But after about 45 minutes I seemed to be stable. 

     My contractions were quite slow and far apart.  They weren't getting much stronger either.  My Pitocin was increased and we all tried to rest.  We watched TV, 'Guys Grocery Games' was on some kind of marathon.  So was 'Keeping up with the Kardashians'.  We tried to sleep some.  Sunday night became Monday morning. I kept telling my night nurse that I was still feeling pain despite the epidural.   She gave me bolus administrations of medication through the epidural but I still was having pain.  Finally towards morning she told me that she had given me the maximum amount of pain medication that she could give me.  The pain was increasingly getting worse and worse and I wanted to kill that nurse who said that she couldn't give me more medication. 

     Finally the pain was overwhelming.  Certain parts of my body were numb but other (quite relevant and important) parts were not.  My contractions started coming fast and furious.  I was screaming as loudly as I have every screamed with each contraction and started sobbing in-between them.  Mom and Derek would say "Here comes another one" and "Ok, its starting to let down down".  I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't do anything but scream, and scream LOUDLY.  (side note: god bless everyone else on that floor who must have felt sorry for the screaming lunatic, I probably scared the crap out of the other women in labor).  Thank God that during this time we switched to a new nurse that had some sense and made the decision that I needed a new epidural (thank you Jesus for this nurse).  After about 90 minutes of this pain (which "worst pain of my life" does not even come close) a new anesthesiologist came in.  Mom stayed for this epidural and Derek went to the waiting room since he had not done so well with the previous epidural (haha). 

     The hardest part was trying to stay still during contractions for the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural.  There was hardly any time between contractions at this point and sitting on the side of the bed was torture.  Finally though, thankfully, she got the epidural in and gave me some medicine.  Within minutes I was able to breathe, open my eyes and talk without pain.  I told that woman that I would give her a million dollars for what she had done.  I did not even know that my body could FEEL that much pain.  After the (sweet, heavenly, amazing, superb) Epidural, the nurse checked me and I was at 10cm, fully dilated (which explains why I was in so much pain!! Hello evil transitional phase of labor).  However I was exhausted.  Dr. Williams and my nurse let me snooze for about 45 minutes before they came in and talked to me about pushing.  The nurse told me that I would probably be pushing for a few hours as the baby still had not dropped in the birth canal.

     This is another moment I mark as a milestone in my mind.  You know that when you get your legs up in those stirrups and start pushing that you are about to meet your baby.  I watched a ton of delivery shows while I was pregnant and I knew that THIS WAS IT.  When my legs went up, it was surreal.  I was ready but I was in disbelief that this was finally happening.  The nurse brought in the table of delivery tools and things and I was thinking "oh crap, that is all the birth stuff, this is REALLY happening".

     I had two practice pushes with the nurse and she told me to hold up and wait.  The nurse went and grabbed Dr. Williams who then came in and watched a push.  Dr. Williams then said that I needed to give her a minute because she needed to get gowned up.. and FAST.  Apparently baby girl was coming down much faster than any of us thought!  Very quickly Dr. Williams gowned up and got in position for the baby.  I pushed with each contraction with everything I had.  I had my eyes closed during the contractions but could hear Derek counting and Mom, Joe, and the staff screaming that I was doing a great job and to keep going!  I pushed so hard that when I took a breath in-between I saw stars.  Suddenly everyone was screaming "push push, you are doing great she is coming!!". It was only seventeen minutes from the time that I started pushing until..... you were here.

All in one gush you were born.  You were quiet, you didn't cry. You came out holding on tight to the uterine monitor that had been inside me during labor.  Dr. Williams had to pry it out of your hand and everyone laughed.  Then you were mine.  You were laying on my chest, I was crying saying "Hi baby" and "Oh my gosh".  I touched your face, you just looked at me with those big beautiful eyes.  You were mine and I couldn't believe it.

Derek cut your umbilical cord and just like that you were your own person, no longer physically attached to me.  I don't know how long I had you but it felt like the world stopped spinning and all that I could do was look at you.

Eventually the nurse took you over to the warmer to get you cleaned up and checked out.  Joe and Mom hovered over you taking pictures and touching you for the first time.  We all cried because we loved you so much. 

You finally started crying and it sounded like a little kitten.  You were a little peanut only weighing 5lbs and 13oz.  You were perfect.  The nurses wrapped you up and brought you back to me.  Derek and I kissed you and just looked and looked at you.  We were a family and you were meant to be ours.

 I did finally let Derek hold you and his face was a mixture of shock and awe at his new daughter.  He kissed you over and over and talked to you, telling you that he was your daddy and that he loved you.

  Mom held you third and Joe fourth.  They both just gazed at you in amazement.

The baby nurse came in and helped Derek give you your first bath.  Derek combed your beautiful head of hair and we wrapped you up and tried nursing.

Early afternoon (you were born at 11:17AM) we were moved to our postpartum room which was great!  They had us in a teeny tiny room in Labor and Delivery since when I came in they did not think that I would actually be having my baby that day!  I finally ate a bit and later on in the evening was able to take a glorious shower.  I mostly layed in bed and snuggled with you.  I breathed you in and traced your face with my fingertips and smoothed your hair and kissed you.

We could not wait to get you home and "start" our new lives as this family of three.
 Cecelia Rose, we prayed for you before you were born and we are so grateful that you are ours and that we are yours.  Now in the warm, still darkness of your nursery, while your eyes are fluttering and sleep is taking you, I whisper,
 "I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the sand in the sea." 
And nothing in this world has ever been more true.

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