Monday, October 3, 2011

They lied to me.

I feel like I got hoodwinked by all of my college professors. No joke.

I got sold this ideal about the profession of social work. That it was all about helping people, and making the world a better place and rainbows and butterflies. It was about advocacy and writing policies that will changed the world!!!

Well all that is bullshit.

Social work is about being down in the dirty ditches with people when they are in the worst times of their lives. It's about being the scapegoat when people are angry and sad and want someone to blame. It's trying to find a miracle for someone when there isn't one. It's frustrating and infuriating and impossible.

I love being there for families when they have lost a loved one, I love helping someone find a home, but those times are too few and far between to make up for all the times when I'm being torn down and dehumanized.

Sure there are times when it seems worth it, but overall, it's not. Where I work I am aware that I am not doing actual social work. I am basically a discharge planner/complaint taker/human dumpster/person who tries to keep our building from getting sued. Throw in the fact that people who went to school for SIX MONTHS to become LPN's make more money than me with a FOUR YEAR degree, I really want to scream.

I wasted all that money, all those years. For nada. NOTHING. I hate what I am doing. I HATE IT. The sad thing is that I feel like there is no way out. I am trapped.

Midlife crisis? Yes.

Questioning my entire life so far? Yes.

Questioning my entire future? Yes.



Amanda said...

Could be worse: you could still be an EMT at Tristar!!!!

Anyway, from another perspective: I'm working with super sick pts right now who are all in the hands of social workers for handling of care when they're discharged.

Knowing how good YOU are about your pts' care and how good you are to the patients themselves, I feel so much better knowing that my pts are going to be taken care of and that there's an empathetic advocate like you somewhere fighting for the best interest of these people. I know that a social worker is probably the only one other than family who will.

You're not forgotten, just very under-appreciated. Please don't think you're wasting your life! Think about where all your pts would be if you hadn't gone out of your way to help them...even if they don't tell you, they appreciate it.

Amanda said...

ps. I think you're just not in the right position yet.

Jennifer said...

I love you manders.