Monday, October 17, 2011

Lesson's Learned

So this song by Carrie Underwood, I love it. It speaks to me. No really.

Here are the Lyrics:

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.


And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

If you are my family or friends reading this blog you know that there was a certain time of my life where I put the people I loved through absolute hell. There were a lot of times I made poor choices and the people I loved suffered. I wasted opportunities and chances. I blew it big time.

There were nights I told the people I loved the most that I hated them, that I wished they would die. There were many nights I wished I would die.

I made my Mom cry, anxious, depressed. I made my Brother's life a home a living nightmare. I made my Dad follow me around in his car so he knew where I was. I went about my life and left my family, my family that I love more than anything in the entire world, that I would easily give my life for, pick up all the pieces.

I was foolish, I was selfish, I was wrong.

I spent so many nights crying, not knowing what to do, how to even start to piece together my life in a way that would ever make it better.

Some of my relationships were never repaired but the ones that mattered were.

It took years to repair relationships and earn trust and prove myself, but it happened.

Like the song says, those things that broke me down, that made me so small, those were the things that made me strong. The lessons I learned from those few years of hurt and heartache and pain changed who I am forever and the way my heart beats. I wish I could take back all the hurt and pain that I caused but I can't. I can just keep loving.

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