Sunday, January 30, 2011

They Weren't Kidding! (lapband update)

Ok so before you have weight loss surgery, they tell you all sorts of things..especially that this is a "lifestyle change" and that "it is all mental". Let me tell ya, they weren't kidding. The mental part especially. After being at the same weight for two months, self sabotaging, and a big ol' mental breakdown in my surgeon's office, I realized they were right. You REALLY don't realize the amount of mental work involved until you have had the surgery. It requires changing your way of thinking about food and changing lifelong habits, which is not easy to do! I had a major honesty dinner with one of my best friends and she asked me if I had been working out and I said no. She told me that I needed to stop doing this for anyone else but me. That I needed to stop looking at this journey as something I HAVE to do and instead look at it as something that I WANT to do. My friend channels Oprah because I had a major "ah-ha" moment. I felt like I HAD to work out and then I didn't want to do it. Now I'm looking at the eating and exercise as things I WANT to do.

The good thing is that this is where the lifestyle change comes into play. At first, it was really freaking hard to eat smaller portions. Now that I've been doing it for a few months I am much more used to it. I don't feel like I have to finish my plate or eat what everyone else is eating. It has gotten a bit easier. Sometimes I still open a menu and go "oh shit" but mainly it's ok. Also my inner sense of guilt keeps me from eating too many cookout milkshakes so that's good. That inner guilt man, that thing is STRONG!

Anyways, I am back to 35lbs down. I gained 2 during the holidays and stayed there for awhile. BUT back down to 35 which I am very happy with.

New Goal: I would like to make it 40 lbs by my birthday (February 17th). I think this is very doable. SO that's what's been going on in lapband world and I'll let you know how the goal is coming! Thanks for all your love and support! Love you so much!



Nikki said...

Oh you are so on it girl! It is a thinking thing more than anything! I love to work out, but still the hardest part is staring the process of putting on the workout clothes! I also have learned that my eating matters so much less if I'm exercizing and building muscle tissue cuz it all burns more calories! I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!

Amanda said...

Two steps forward, one step's just part of learning and life. I'm glad you've recognized what the issue is for you. Know this isn't the only battle you have going...sometimes you just have to forget the stuff that doesn't matter as much and focus on what you want, like you said. Regardless, glad the shed pounds didn't include your ability to be a wonderful friend, thank goodness for me :). Miss you bunches and please let me know if you ever need anything or want to talk/vent! You're always there for me...I SO appreciate it, you have no idea :).
PS the ambien prevented me from a clearer wording :P

weebarrett said...

although i have no had any gastric surgery, i'm on my own weight loss journey and i can definitely relate to the mental struggle. i've found i can get into a good rhythm of eating well and exercising a lot, and then it doesn't take much to fall off the wagon if i'm not vigilant. keep it up! :)