Thursday, April 15, 2010


Do you like my clever play on words? Me too. Today Oprah gave me some AHA! moments. I mean really. I haven't had a ton of those since my therapist went on maternity leave and never came back, but Oprah! You've done it!

The guest on the show today was Gavin de Becker, some guy who works for the CIA and security of really important people like supreme court justices. Well anywho, this guy created a system called MOSAIC which helps people determine the risk that their relationship has to escalate to violence. Since I, like Oprah, am damn sick and tired of reading about women being abused and murdered by their partner, this development is a great tool for women.
Anyways, I am getting off track. The Show was great. You can take the MOSAIC test for yourself or someone you know HERE. It is free and totally anonymous.

This crazy Becker dude gave me Aha! moment after Aha! moment.

1. "ANYONE that doesn't respect your "NO" is trying to control you"
-Becker went on to say that anyone, whether it be a friend, your two year old, your husband or a salesperson, no matter who it is, if they don't respect your NO then they are trying to control you. ZING!

2. "A man's NO is considered the end of a conversation, a woman's NO is considered the beginning of a negotiation"
-He gave this example: As a woman if you are out drinking and say "no more" to the next round, but someone starts saying "oh, come on, blah blah" (okay he didn't say blah blah, but you get the picture" So the point is that a woman who caves RIGHT THERE, teaches people to not respect her NO. ZING!

3. "Persistence does NOT mean you are special, it means HE is troubled"
-Society has conditioned women to see a lot of attention and persistence as love when in fact it is the opposite and is a form of control. ZING!

Go Gavin de Becker! I love this guy!

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